The Trouble with Cleaning Duty
by Pokegirl
Summary: Pipit's mom has got it going on! Link x Pipit's mom, Pipit x male OC, along with other random pairings from Skyward Sword. Rated for m/m and f/m sex and language. Next chapter coming soon!
1. Introduction: part 1

The Trouble with Cleaning Duty

Introduction: Part 1

It was a tranquil early afternoon in Skyloft. Groose and Link were eating lunch together in the small cafe in the bazaar. Many people were walking around shopping, and the shouts of various vendors bounced off of the walls. It seemed like it was going to be a peaceful day. Link slowly chewed a cheese sandwich. Groose finished an entire bowl of soup in two big gulps.

"So Link, I heard things are getting serious with your girlfriend," Groose leaned forward curiously.

"Yeah, but I'm really happy."

"That's great. Actually I-"

"Link!" Fledge ran into the bazaar, "run for your life!"

"Fledge, chill out," Groose gestured towards the table, "come eat something; you could use more muscle."

Fledge walked up to them but didn't sit down. His eyes were full of horror. He looked at Link on the verge of tears.

"He's going to kill you," his voice trembled.

"Who's going to kill me?" Link asked taking a gulp of water.

"Pipit," Fledge said nervously, "he found out."

Link spat out the water and it ended up all over Groose's face.

"Dude what the fuck!" he buried his face in a napkin.

Link stood up in horror, "where is he?"

"He's looking through the whole town for you!" Fledge exclaimed, "hide somewhere until he calms down!"

"You're right," said Link looking around for a place to hide.

"Wait one second," Groose stood up, his face finally dry, "I thought you and Pippit were buddies?"

Link couldn't answer this inquiry before Pipit came charging into the bazaar, his sword unsheathed. The whole bazaar got quiet and a few people gasped.

"LINK!" his eyes glinted murderously.

"Holy . . . fuck," said Groose observing in shock.

"Pipit," Link lifted his hands palms forward, "let's sit down and discuss this calmly."

Pipit was walking very slowly towards Link. His sword was raised at an angle intended to kill.

"I know I should have told you before," Link kept his voice even, "but I was afraid of how you would react."

"Gee, I wonder why," Groose chimed in sarcastically.

None of this fazed Pipit, and when he approached Link, he swung his sword violently. Link jumped out of the way, and the only casualty was the wooden table which was now cut in half. The owner of this small corner of the bazaar flung her spoon on the floor in rage.

"HEY!" she screamed, "YOU'RE PAYING FOR THAT!"

"Maybe you should take this outside," suggested Groose.

Pipit ignored both of them and continued advancing towards Link, backing him into a corner. Peatrice, who had been observing this scene in horror, jumped over the item check counter and sprinted towards them. She grabbed Pipit's sword arm, restraining him from another attack.

"Pipit," she begged with desperate eyes, "don't hurt him. He's a good guy!"

This only made Pipit angrier. He flung her off of his arm, and she stumbled back a few steps stunned.

"And you have to take his side," Pipit was shaking with rage, "I know for sure I fuck you in a week more times than he's fucked you in his entire life and you STILL take his damn side!"

The crowd gasped. Peatrice turned red and looked down. Fledge looked horrified. Link continued to look for a way to escape.

Groose pulled up a chair next to the halved table, "and now it get's interesting!"

"He doesn't deserve for you to treat him like this," said Peatrice looking at her shoes.

"The hell he does!" Pipit spat, "he's fucking my mom! MY MOM!"  
>The entire bazaar got so quiet you could hear a pin drop.<p>

Groose gulped down some random person's coffee and gave Link a nod of approval, "Damn!"

* * *

><p>Author's note: This story will feature Link and Pipit's mom as the main couple but will also include some other interesting character combinations with some girlguy and guy/guy. If reading sex scenes bothers you, then this story is not for you. Please don't complain, because I warned you. I do not own any of the Zelda characters. Now please enjoy the rest of the story!


	2. Introduction: part 2

The Trouble with Cleaning Duty

Introduction: Part 2

This whole mess started back when Link was still searching for Zelda on the surface. Link would return to Skyloft from time to time to rest from his arduous travels. He enjoyed visiting the villagers and took particular comfort in speaking with Pipit's mother.

On the night when they became more than just friendly relations, Link found himself sipping tea at the extremely dusty table in her house. She was wearing an airy cotton dress, because her normal outfit was too dirty, and she was putting off doing laundry as usual. Link could see the shape of her bra through the dress and tried not to stare.

She refilled his cup and sat next him, "so Link, tell me . . ." she said with a mischievous grin, "is there any truth to the rumors about you and the item check girl?"

"Peatrice?" Link scowled, "I can't fucking stand her."

The middle-aged brunette raised an eyebrow and eyed him skeptically.

"Okay, okay!" Link admitted, "I had drunk sex with her once."

She laughed and Link continued, "And now she won't leave me alone . . . and she is not someone I would do sober."

"My Goddess!" she was laughing hysterically, "Link has a stalker!"

"I have to lock my door before I go to sleep at night," Link sighed, "and when I don't open it for her, I hear her hitting on the other guys."

This made her laugh even harder.

"Peatrice is the town slut for sure," said Link.

"And here I thought my son was the town slut."

They both laughed.

"How is Pipit, by the way?" asked Link.

"Same as ever," she answered exasperated, "he won't get off of my case about cleaning this house. How am I supposed to get rid of all of this dust?"

"Actually," Link rustled through his things, "I recently got an item you may find helpful."

She looked on curiously as Link got the gust bellows out and turned it on. A forceful wind blew away all of the dust from the part of the floor Link was pointing it at.

"Amazing!" she jumped out of her chair, "so much power!"

Link grinned and stood with it in a mock dramatic pose.

"Could you clean my house with that?" she asked. "I will pay you!"

"Sure," said Link.

So Link blasted the dust from her house making sure he did a thorough job. He went over a few places twice, and when he got back to the table he accidently shot some air at the enthusiastic lady.

"I'm so sorry!" Link turned off the device.

"No, don't stop!" she jumped up and down, "it's such a rush!"

"Okay," Link shrugged and blasted her with the wind.

"Woohoo!"

She enjoyed the wind for a few minutes until, much to Link's embarrassment, her dress flew off over her head and onto the newly cleaned floor. He turned beat red. She was wearing a purple bra and panties with happy flying birds on them.

"Do you like what you see?" she asked with the mischievous grin back on her face.

Link realized he was staring. He dropped the gust bellows and started running across the room in an attempt to retrieve the dress. Unfortunately, before he could reach the garment, he tripped over a chair and ended up tackling the half-naked woman to the floor instead.

"Wow!" she said, amazed.

"I'm so sorry, I-" Link was cut off as she pressed her lips against his.

She grabbed his shoulders so he couldn't move off of her. He resisted for a few seconds but then closed his eyes and relaxed. They made out for a while, and then Link broke the kiss and looked at her questioningly.

"Did you like that?" she asked, out of breath.

"Yes," he answered, "but are you sure you're okay with this? I mean I like you, but I am younger than your son."

"If you're okay with it then so am I," she stroked his cheek.

Their eyes met, and neither of them had to say another word. Link just smiled, picked her up, and carried the lady over to her bed. Ever since then, Link would go to her house often to clean, among other things . . .

* * *

><p>Author's note: So this introduction was kind of a tease! : ) The good stuff is coming. I don't think Pipit's mom has a name, so she will remain nameless for now. In a few days I will post the first chapter where we will be seeing a lot of Pipit (if you know what I mean.) Let me know what you think so far! Thank you so much for reading!<p> 


	3. Chapter 1: By Daylight

The Trouble with Cleaning Duty

Chapter 1: By Daylight

"Karane!" Zelda thumped on the wall.

The morning light was pouring through the windows. Most of the inhabitants of the school were still in the depths of sleep. However, Zelda was wide awake. She was wearing a white nightgown and was holding a hairbrush in her left hand as she banged the wall between her and her friend, Karane.

"Karane!" she called again.

"It's Saturday!" the redhead grumbled on the other side and rolled over.

"Well, open your door for me!" Zelda exclaimed, "I have something important to tell you."

"Fine," she stumbled out of bed, "come over."

Karane yawned and unlocked her door. Zelda left her room and walked into Karane's room. She sat on the bed with a particularly enthusiastic expression.

Karane sat down next to her with eyes still full of sleep, "what is it?"

"Well," said Zelda excitedly, "I'm going to lose my virginity today."  
>This sudden statement made Karane wake up immediately.<p>

"What?" asked Karane shocked, "did I hear you correctly?"

"Yes, you did," said Zelda smiling, "I'm going to do the nasty! But don't tell anyone."

"And here I thought you were the innocent one," Karane shook her head, "and with whom are you playing sheath the sword today?"

Zelda blushed, "it sounds so dirty when you say it like that!"

"Tell me who!" Karane demanded.

"Well . . ." Zelda whispered the name into Karane's ear.

"Really?" she asked with both interest and surprise.

"We've gotten pretty close ever since I came back from the surface," she glowed with love, "I really think I'm falling for him."

"Well I'm happy for you," Karane smiled, "where are you going to do it anyway? You might get caught around here."  
>"We have our special meeting spot," Zelda giggled, "that was where we first kissed."<p>

"Wow," said Karane jealously, "sounds romantic."

"How are things with Pipit?" asked Zelda.

"Complicated," Karane sighed, "I have the feeling he's cheating on me with half of the town."

Zelda almost laughed, but she made it sound like she was clearing her throat instead.

"What makes you think he's cheating on you?"

* * *

><p>The watchtower was extremely hot even though it was only early morning. Two naked men and a pile of discarded clothes filled the small space. The knight in charge of Skyloft's security and also doctor on the side, Reynaldo was taking his lunch break early. He wiped the sweat off of his forehead and looked down to where Pipit was "eating breakfast" between his legs. The muscular knight had long black hair pulled back in a ponytail and was slightly taller than Pipit. He stared at the skyline as he released himself into his lover's mouth. A satisfied smile formed on his face as he listened to Pipit swallow.<p>

When Pipit stood back up their eyes met for a moment. A variety of emotions flickered between them until another wave of lust took over. Reynaldo craned his neck to reach Pipit's freckled shoulder. His lips assaulted the soft skin, leaving a bruise. As his mouth worked, his fingers rubbed the younger man's explosively sensitive nipples. Pipit closed his eyes and sighed, occasionally biting down on his lower lip, enjoying every second of it. Reynaldo worked his way back up to Pipit's mouth, and they hungrily pressed their lips together. Pipit reluctantly pulled away and took a big breath of air.

"You love doing it up here, don't you?" asked Reynaldo.

"I love doing it with you."

Reynaldo smiled. The two had been having trysts for a very long time and had mastered lovemaking in strange places. Reynaldo was a very reclusive member of Skyloft. He was on watch a lot, and most people would only see him after he caught them after they fell off of Skyloft in a drunken fervor.

"I was thinking about you all night when I was on my watch," Pipit embraced Reynaldo.

Reynaldo stroked Pipit's back, "I think about you, too."

"Please," Pipit begged, "can I forget about my stupid list?"

"No," Reynaldo shook his head, "I want to give you a chance before I ruin your life."

"Not being with you is ruining my life," Pipit said heavily.

"Shh," Reynaldo held him closer, "be patient. Everything always works out like it should."

Pipit smiled and closed his eyes.

"Hey," Reynaldo whispered in his ear, "how about a . . ."

"You already know the answer to that," he purred.

They locked lips again. Reynaldo rubbed Pipit's balls and then stroked his cock until it hardened. His own excitement brushed eagerly against Pipit's hip. Without breaking the kiss, Pipit stood on Reynaldo's feet to compensate the height difference. They began rubbing their erections together, first slowly and then with increasing speed. They trembled as beads of sweat slid down their backs. Pipit dug his nails into Reynaldo's hips as their tongues mimicked the same dance taking place below their waists. As the act intensified Pipit gasped for breath and moaned. He grabbed Reynaldo's ponytail, and they looked at each other's eyes in ecstasy.

"Uh . . . Rey. . .nal . . .do."

"Mmm . . ."

They painted each other with their milky juice and panted with a satisfied exhaustion.

"That was amazing," Reynaldo sat down to rest.

Pipit leaned out of the watchtower to get some air. Unfortunately at that moment Beedle's air shop hovered next to him.

"What are you doing, Pipit?" Beedle called out of the ship's window.

"Nothing," Pipit was still short of breath.

"You look like you have a fever!"

"No, I was just working out," Pipit lied.

"Whatever you say, buddy!" Beedle floated away to Pipit's great relief.

"That was close," said Pipit.

Reynaldo laughed, "you have a fever alright."

"Do I now?" Pipit asked seductively.

Reynaldo stood up and smacked Pipit's ass. Pipit released a whimper filled with surprise and arousal. He clung onto the watchtower's railing and stuck his rear up higher in a tempting way.

"Well, Dr. Reynaldo has a cure for your fever," he stroked Pipit's buttocks slowly.

"Please cure me, doctor," said Pipit, extremely turned on.

Reynaldo wetted his finger in his mouth and then playfully prodded Pipit's opening. Pipit leaned back into Reynaldo's hand and looked over his shoulder in desire.

"You have quite the fever," Reynaldo smiled darkly, "this calls for drastic action."

Reynaldo bent down and stuck his tongue inside Pipit and wiggled it around. Pipit groaned and gripped the railing harder. Reynaldo removed his tongue and gazed in approval as saliva dripped from Pipit's ass. He then proceeded to rub his cock in between Pipit's cheeks. Pipit's face was flushed and he quivered in anticipation.

"I want you inside of me now!"

"Maybe if you ask the doctor nicely," Reynaldo replied evilly.

"Doctor, please fuck me!" Pipit cried desperately.

"Much obliged," Reynaldo ended the teasing and stuck himself inside of Pipit.

A smacking sound filled the watchtower as Reynaldo rocked back and forth with his lover. Pipit arched his spine so Reynaldo fill him all the way. His eyes were glazed over in rapture as he absentmindedly looked down at the town. His grip on the railing was so tight now that his knuckles were white. Reynaldo rode Pipit going deeper and deeper each time.

"Th . . .there!" Pipit moaned as Reynaldo prodded the magic spot.

He repeated this action over and over and Pipit's moaning developed into loud cries. Reynaldo covered his mouth so none of the few people walking around below them would look up at the scene. Pipit finally bit down on the doctor's hand as he orgasmed against the wall. Reynaldo followed him, and Pipit enjoyed the sensation of the warmth inside of him.

"I love you so much," he kissed Pipit's neck.

Pipit turned around and kissed Reynaldo on the lips, "you are the only one I love."

"I know, baby" he brushed ran his hand through Pipit's chestnut sex hair.

Reynaldo left another kiss on Pipit's lips, "I should go now."

He bent down and handed Pipit a handkerchief to clean himself with.

"Why?" asked Pipit desperately.

Reynaldo slipped on a pair of fuchsia boxers that had little swords on them, "I don't want anyone to find us up here."

"Who cares if they find out?" Pipit grabbed Reynaldo's waist, "I will never feel the same way about any person than the way I feel about you."

"I love you, Pipit," Reynaldo removed Pipit's hands and grabbed his pants, "but I want to give you a chance."

"You're not going to ruin my life!" said Pipit, "gay marriage has been legal here for 20 years."

"Maybe its legal," said Reynaldo, "but you'd still have to work harder to maintain respect in the community than if you'd marry that Karane chick."

"I HATE KARANE!" Pipit said angrily, "she makes me alphabetize things."

Reynaldo pulled up his pants and tied the string. He looked at Pipit with sympathy.

"Calm down, babe," he patted Pipit's head, "we'll talk about this later."

Reynaldo finished dressing and fastened his belt over his tunic. Pipit was turned away looking out of the watch tower. He stared blankly at the town.

"When's your next night off?" asked Reynaldo.  
>"Tomorrow," answered Pipit without turning around.<p>

"Well, it's a date then," he picked up his rucksack, "I'll meet you in the plaza."

"Okay."

"Hey, Pipit?"

"Yes?"

"Smile . . . and get dressed.

Pipit turned around and laughed.

* * *

><p>Link hummed a melody as he walked towards the bridge with a spring in his step. He wore a big smile on his face and was carrying a bouquet of pink flowers. His posture was straight and confident as he strode in his green tunic. When he paced by the watchtower, a knight a few years older than him walked out.<p>

"Hey handsome!" he called out flirtatiously to Link.

Link stopped in his tracks. He stared at the dark-haired knight like he had three arms.

"Are those flowers for me?" the man asked with a grin.

"No, they're for a woman," said Link, and he quickly walked over the bridge.

"Jeez, can't you take a joke?" Reynaldo called after Link loudly.

"Creep!" Link said loud enough for the other man to hear him.

"Tough crowd," Reynaldo shrugged.

* * *

><p>Link walked into Pipit's house where his ladyfriend had breakfast waiting for him. Ever cautious, he locked the door behind him. Mallara brought over a fresh omelet and set it on his place at the table.<p>

"Good morning, beautiful," he kissed her and handed her the flowers.

"For me?" asked Mallara flattered.

"Yes," he smiled, "flowers for my flower."

"Aww," she kissed him again.

Link sat down at the table, and Mallara skipped across the room to put the flowers in a vase with water. She positioned it on the counter and admired it in high spirits. She walked back to the table with a plate for herself and took a seat next to Link.

"Eat it before it gets cold, sweetie."

"Thanks," said Link, "your omelets are always great."

Their wooden sporks scratched against the plates as the awaking birds cackled outside.

"I noticed some loose shingles when I was cleaning your rain gutter yesterday," said Link, "I can hammer them back into place for you later."

"Thank you so much!" she said, "I don't know what I would do without you. Pipit never helps me out around here."

"He is a busy person," Link noted, "he seems troubled sometimes, but he is always able to put on a smile and act professional for his job."

"He is a bit different behind closed doors," she said.

"Being a self-sacrificing person can wear you out," Link nodded with empathy, "but I do notice he has a slight temper.

"Slight?" Mallara laughed, "that's an understatement!"

"Look," Link paused and wiped his mouth with a napkin, "I want to tell Pipit about us."

Her eyes widened with worry.

"There's no reason why we should have to sneak around," said Link, "especially since I want to take this relationship to the next level."

"Oh Link!" she grabbed his hand.

"But I want to wait until he is less stressed out," Link squeezed her hand, "I think I'm going to ask him what's been bothering him."

"Please do," she tightened her grip, "he hasn't had a serious talk with me since before his father died."

"He must have emotional scars that haven't healed," Link observed, "I am an orphan myself."

He swallowed the egg bits in his mouth. His gaze met her loving eyes. She moved closer to him. Link began to lean in for a kiss.

"Mom!" there was a banging at the door.

The two lovers jumped up in panic.

The door handle jiggled frantically, "why is this door locked?"

"Just a second, son!" Mallara called to the door.

Link's eyes darted to her with a panicked "what now?" look.

"Quick!" she whispered to Link as she pushed him towards Pipit's bed.

"Huh?" asked Link confused.

She gestured towards under the bed. Link hurriedly crawled underneath it and laid on his back in the small space. Mallara ran to the door and opened it for her son. Pipit walked in with a sour expression.

"Good morning, dear!"

"Why was the door locked?"

"I forgot to unlock it," she said nervously, "I heard some scary sounds outside just before dawn."

Pipit sat down at the table, "you made breakfast?"

"Actually I already ate it all," she said even more nervously.

"Figures," said Pipit, "you never cook for me."

"Well, I never know where you are and when you are coming home," she said.

"Well, I work weird hours so I am awake weird hours," he shrugged.

She sat at the table across from her son, quietly.

"Do you have five rupees?" he asked, " I don't have enough money for lunch."

"No, I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"Why not?" a hint of anger already in his voice, "I gave you my entire last month's earnings!"

"I bought stuff I needed," she avoided his eyes anxiously.

"You're still paying for a housekeeper!" he raised his voice, "just look how clean it is in here!"

"Well . . ."  
>"Oh forget it," he exhaled heavily, "I don't feel like getting all upset right now."<p>

An extremely awkward silence filled the room, Link was paranoid they would hear him breathing in the stuffy space.

Pipit noticed the flowers on the counter, "nice flowers where are those from?"

"Uh . . ." Mallara's mind went blank.

Luckily for her, another knock came from the door.

"Come in!" she called relieved.

Peatrice walked in with a peculiar expression on her face.

"Hello, Peatrice," she said, lacking her usual enthusiasm.

Pipit glared at gaudily dressed blonde girl.

"Can I have a word with your son in private?" she crossed her arms.

"Uh?"

"Just get out!" Peatrice demanded.

Mallara nervously ran outside. Peatrice triumphantly clicked the lock behind her. She turned around and narrowed her eyes at Pipit.

"Fuck," said Pipit with a sense of defeat.

"Indeed, " said Peatrice, stepping toward him with each word, "I would like to get in a fuck before I go to work. And you happen to be the only man I can find right now who is under 50."

"That's because most people in their right mind won't touch you," Pipit said annoyed, "I think you have a real problem. You know there is such a thing as a sex addiction."

"And the people suffering are me and every other person alive," she said untying the shawl at her waist and dropping it dramatically.

Pipit eyed the shawl and swallowed nervously, "no, just you."

She kicked her shoes in the air, and one barely missed Pipit's head. He cowered with his hands over his head. Link laid underneath the bed, extremely confused by this turn of events.

"You're such a wimp," Peatrice criticized, "I wish Link was around."

"Link can't stand you," Pipit frowned, "Hell, I don't even like you."

"That's funny," she giggled psychotically, "he slept with me before."

"That was the night he won the drinking competition!" he exclaimed irritated, "I woke up next to the mailman after that night!"

"Well," she slid her pants off, "you are a horny bastard!"

"Actually," he covered his eyes so he wouldn't have to watch the striptease, "I am tired, and don't feel like sleeping with anyone right now. So please leave."

"Yeah, like I'm going to leave before I get what I want, " she whipped off her shirt.

Link sweated nervously as he watched the clothing hit the floor out of the corner of his eye. His jaw dropped in shock when he saw a bra and panties join the pile. Peatrice jumped on Pipit's lap. She moved his hands from his eyes and put her breasts in his face.

"I said no!" Pipit pushed her away and moved towards the door.

She landed on the floor. Link cringed as she saw a flash of her crouch and prayed she wouldn't notice him.

"I'LL JUST FOLLOW YOU!" She screamed and scrambled up.

"No, you won't," Pipit touched the door handle with uncertainty, "your dad-"  
>"Is already out of town," she smiled diabolically, "and he doesn't believe anything bad he hears about me."<p>

"Fucking bitch."

"So you'd better be a good boy or I'll tell Daddy you raped me," she stated matter-of-factly, "then it's bye bye knight academy."

Pipit turned around, resigned, "I really don't have much in me right now."

"Would 20 rupees perk you up a little?"

She tossed a red rupee at Pipit. He looked at it hesitantly.

"I've got you now," she smirked, "I know you're broke!"

"Fine," he pocketed the rupee, "now just shut up."

She walked up to him with the expression of a snake who had cornered a rabbit. She grabbed his collar and pulled him towards the bed. Link's eyes widened in horror as they stepped closer to him and he heard Pipit being pushed on the bed. Their weight made Link's space smaller and he could only lay there in shock. Peatrice lifted up Pipit's tunic and grappled with his pant string. Pipit kept his eyes on the ceiling with a disgruntled expression on his face. Peatrice pulled his cock out and started rubbing it.

She looked up on his face, "I know why you didn't want to do it . . . You smell like you've been. . ."

"What did I say!"

She silenced herself by sticking his cock in her mouth. Link covered his face and felt his stomach turn as a slurping sound filled the room.

"Why the Hell is it taking so long for you to get hard," she complained after a short while.

"Well," Pipit began, "A, I hate you. B. I fucked someone else several times this morning. C. I could probably be sucked off better by the potion lady."

She glared at him angrily but continued her efforts. She switched to her hands after a few minutes, stroking his shaft and cupping his balls with more success.

"Alright, flip over," said Pipit annoyed at the heat below his waist.

_Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! _Link was thinking in dismay. He stayed as still has he could under the bed. He cringed when he felt the bed move above him.

"OH!" she screamed.

"I'm not even inside you yet!" Pipit rolled his eyes at her tackily painted face.

He thrust himself inside of her well-visited "viaduct entrance" and closed his eyes trying to forget who he was screwing. Link squirmed as he shook with the bed. Peatrice moaned theatrically, and Link covered his ears in an attempt to block out her shrill sounds. It was to no avail; if anyone was still asleep in the neighborhood, they weren't anymore.

After a few minutes Pipit exhaled and pulled out of her. He stood up and sloppily shot his cum on the floor by the bed. Some of it splattered on Link's face, and it took every ounce of self control for Link not to scream in horror.

"You're done already?" Peatrice asked impatiently.

"Yes," said Pipit as he refastened his pants.

"But I'm still horny!" she slammed the bed with her palm.

"Well, it's called a dildo," Pipit snapped, "now get out!"

She stood up, rage pouring like daggers out of her eyes. She slapped him potently across the face. He recoiled and covered his stinging cheek with his hand. Peatrice grabbed her clothes without even putting them on and stormed out of the house.

"Stupid bitch," he muttered and sat back down on the bed.

Pipit's mother walked back in the house with a look of shock.

"What did you do?" she approached him, eyeing Link's hiding spot nervously, "the neighbors thought you were killing that poor girl!"

"And of course you assume she's the victim!" Pipit stood up and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To talk to someone who will listen to me!" he slammed the door behind him.

"Pipit!"

As soon as he was out of the door, Link crawled out feebly from under the bed. He slowly got up in a daze.

"Link what happened?"

"Oh my Goddess . . ."

"What's that on your face?"  
>Link remembered what it was and ran to the window. He opened it, leaned out, and emptied the contents of his stomach. Rupor, one of the neighbors started at Link like he was witnessing part of a freak show act. However, the neighbors would soon become quite accustomed to the strange events surrounding Mallara's small home. Link wiped his mouth, waved good day to the crooked salesman, and closed the window. He brushed his blonde locks out of his eyes in a manner-of-fact way and faced Mallara, whose eyes were still popping out of her head in shock.<p>

"I think I'm going to fix the roof now."

* * *

><p>Pipit knocked on Zelda's door, "Zelda are you awake?"<p>

Karane heard him and walked into the hallway, "she's not here."

"Do you know when she will be back?" Pipit asked with tired eyes.

"Probably not for a few hours," she approached him smiling.

"Then is Link around at all?"

"No, " she twisted one of her ginger-hued locks, "I saw him leave the school grounds really early."

"Oh, I get it," he chuckled.

"Hey, Pipit," Karane put her hands on her hips, "would you like to come in my room for a while?"

"That would be a no," his freckled face twisted in an expression of disapproval.

"Pipit!" she was infuriated, "we haven't had sex in a month!"

The blood rushed to Pipit's face, "would you keep your voice down! A teacher could hear you."

"Then let them know" her voice raised and her eyes wild, "that the only person in this town you won't sleep with is your girlfriend!"

"I . . . don't know what you're talking about," his voice shook in fear.

"If you still want me to go with you to the Knight's Ball, you'd better stop lying!" she demanded.

"Well to be honest," he said very sourly, "I don't give a FUCK about the Knight's Ball anymore! And if I would still go, it wouldn't be with you!"

He turned around towards the stairs and started walking away.

She watched his yellow-clad figure walk away from her in disbelief. Her face reddened in an emotion between rage and desperation. She took a step forward and decided to take a drastic course of action.

"Pipit!" she shouted.

He turned around angrily. She pulled down her tunic and bra and flashed him. Her breasts bounced out at him. He gasped turning red. She started fingering her nipple and staring at him provocatively. He backed into a wall in shock.

"Hey what's going on out here?" Professor Horwell stumbled out of his room.

He took a quick look at the scene.

"Well, you seem awfully perky today, Karane," he said with his eyebrows up.

She turned a shade of scarlet and ran back into her room.

Pipit shook his head, "this day just keeps going downhill."

"Would you like a bagel?" asked Horwell with a huge grin, "those always make things better!"

"Sure, why not," Pipit sighed.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Yay! Ch 1 is done! I would like to say thanks for the heads up about Pipit's mom's name and for everyone reading thus far. I made up Reynaldo because since Link is not paired with Pipit in this story, I wanted to give Pipit an interesting male love interest. I am aiming for Ch 2 for sometime next week. You can expect another argument between Pipit and his mom, more desperate attempts from Karane, and Link finally getting it on. Thank you very much! : )<p> 


	4. Chapter 2: By Moonlight

The Trouble with Cleaning Duty

Chapter 2: By Moonlight

Pipit and Reynaldo sat next to each other in the grass by the windmill. The stars lined the sky, and the moon glowed like a lantern hung by a doorway. This was a rare night when they could meet up on Skyloft.

Pipit squeezed Reynaldo's hand, "there's something I really have to get off my chest . . ."

"The list?" Reynaldo knowingly raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," answered Pipit, "I have pretty much slept with three quarters of the town."

"Wow," said Reynaldo, genuinely impressed.

"And the only that has changed is that I have a terrible reputation," said Pipit, resigned, "my feelings for you haven't."

"Look," Reynaldo brushed a black lock out of his face, "one reason I asked you to do the list before we settled down was that I was pretty wild when I was your age. I think everyone needs to get it out of their system."

"But it was mostly because you thought I was too immature to be married," Pipit said resentfully.  
>"No," said Reynaldo, looking down.<br>Pipit's eyes widened in surprise.

"It was because . . ." Reynaldo uncharacteristically faltered.

Pipit supportively put a hand on Reynaldo's shoulder.

He continued, "because, back in my wild days, I gambled my way into serious debt."

"Damn Fun Fun Island," Pipit chimed in.

"And now I'm paying for it. Literally. I've been working really hard to pay it back, but I still can't afford to pay for a wedding at the temple."

"We don't have to get married in the -"

"Yes, we do!" exclaimed Reynaldo intently, "it is a shame for a knight not to get married there."

"But Reynaldo . . ."

"And I will not bring you any shame!" Reynaldo clenched his fist.

"Reynaldo," Pipit rubbed his shoulders consolingly.

"I was trying to buy myself time as you worked your way through the town," said Reynaldo on the verge of tears.

Pipit embraced him from behind, "you didn't have to hide this from me."

Reynaldo smiled with relief.

"There is a 1000 rupee fee for a wedding at the Goddess temple," Pipit whispered in Reynaldo's ear, "I have savings of about 5000 rupees that I haven't touched just for an occasion like this."

"Pipit! You can't possibly pay for the wedding all on your own!" Reynaldo insisted.

"Shh . . ." Pipit put a finger to Reynaldo's mouth, "we are in this together."

They kissed tenderly, and then laid together in the cool dewy grass.

* * *

><p>On the nearby Pumpkin Isle, home to a pumpkin shaped tavern and a pumpkin patch, Kina, the daughter of the tavern's owner, stood in the pumpkin patch frowning at the night sky. The voices of many rowdy partiers poured from the nearby orange building. They were partying, but she was still on duty . . .<p>

The door opened and Kina's face soured when she saw Peater, father of the ever-modest Peatrice, walking towards her. Ever in a state of midlife crisis, he failed epically at a cool swagger and he stumbled over a few pumpkins. He stood in front of her, sneering in his ill-fitting clothes.

"What?" Kina's lips turned downward.

"I heard from the guys inside that you the right person if I need some . . . uh . . . relief."

"For a price."

"Yeah, yeah," he waved at the air impatiently.

"Follow me." Kina walked through the pumpkin patch, not showing concern for the mud.

Peater followed her to a small, two-walled pumpkin shed next to railing and a ledge. He brushed some dirt off of his shirt and upturned his nose, disgusted by the surroundings. He then looked at her lustfully and tore off her shawl and pulled down her shirt. Kina rolled her eyes as he fondled her small breasts.

"I don't know who you think you are to have that attitude with the great Peater!" he said arrogantly.

He pushed her down by the shoulders into a kneeling position. He whipped out his small dick and shoved it in her mouth. He grabbed her hair and jerked her head fast.

"Take that, little pumpkin bitch!" he panted.

He pulled out of her mouth and pushed her against the railing by the ledge. He pulled her skirt up and hurriedly pushed himself into her. Kina looked half asleep as she boredly glanced at the moon. He wheezed as he pathetically moved back and forth.

"Hey, hurry up!" said another man standing next to the shed, "I'm next!"

"DAMN IT!" Peater said, frustrated, "that made me come!"

He resignedly zipped up his ill-fitting pants and took 20 rupees out of his pocket.

"Give it to my pimp," Kina yawned, not even bothering to move from her compromising position against the railing "he's here evaluating me today. He should be inside."

Peater shrugged and walked back towards the rowdy Lumpy Pumpkin. When he entered several drunken men were singing. He noticed a strange man dancing on a table. He had a strange resemblance to a monster. He was bald except for two horn-like pieces of hair on both sides of his head. His eyes were barely visible and two fang-like teeth stuck out of his grinning mouth. He was currently doing some type of jig on the table.

"Batreaux?" Peater looked at him questioningly.

"Well hello, Peater!" he energetically jumped down from the table. "It's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"You pimp here now?" Peater inquired.

"Well, yes and no," Batreaux gestured excessively with his hands, "I've been looking to expand my business. You know, I've got to compete against Skyloft's other pimp."

"Yeah, business in general is tough these days," Peater agreed.

"But I'm always hiring!" Batreaux said with twinkle in his eye, "and I see lots of potential for this place."

"I'm glad to hear that," Peater chuckled, "I don't like to pay for women in Skyloft. What with my daughter around! You know she is so innocent. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if she followed my bad example."

Batreaux started choking on his own salvia.

"Are you okay, buddy?" Peater smacked Batreaux's back several times until he started breathing again.

"So anyway, here's 20 rupees," Peater handed the money to Batreaux, "yeah, Kina was in total ecstasy when I was riding her in the shed. I still got it!"

"Oh, I'm sure." Batreaux said convincingly enough.

* * *

><p>The next day, Zelda dreamily walked through the town. She was holding a note from her lover. Her thoughts of him gave her a sensual expression.<p>

"Zelda," Pipit called her out of her fantasies.

She turned to see him sitting on a bench. She walked over and sat next to him.

"What's up?" she asked brightly.

He grinned, "I am finally going to do it."

"Marry Reynaldo?" Zelda asked excitedly.

Pipit nodded, "I just booked the date at the Temple. All I have to do is pay the 1000 rupee fee by the end of this month."

"Wow," Zelda raised her eyebrows, "that's a lot."

"Actually, I have been saving for a while and I still have enough for that and a wedding planner."

"Yay!" Zelda clapped her hands, "weddings are so fun!"

Pipit smiled at his friend, "but don't tell anyone yet."

"Oh, that's right," Zelda covered her mouth, "how many people even know you are serious with Reynaldo?"

"You, your dad, my mom walked in on us a few times . . . some of the professors, Reynaldo's coworkers, and Peatrice."

Zelda raised her eyebrow at the last name.

"She is a fucking stalker of anyone who has a dick," Pipit said with disgust.

"Wait," said Zelda, "Link doesn't know? I thought you guys were pretty tight."

"We are" Pipit adjusted his hat, "it's just that I'm afraid he would judge me. He is like my brother, and I'm afraid to lose him."

Zelda smiled consolingly, "I think he will be happy for you."

Pipit sighed, "I hope. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like Reynaldo."

"He'll come around. He just needs to get to know him better."

"I really hope so, Zelda."

Zelda put a hand on his shoulder and said, "a true friendship is like a diamond; it can be scratched but never broken. An untrue friendship is like glass; the smallest thing will shatter it."

Pipit reflected on her words and looked at the nearby windmill. The light breeze made the blades rotate slowly. A few birds swooped overhead, their shrill cries drowning out the dull hum of the windmill. Pipit exhaled, his eyes full of the type of apprehension people get when they first hear news of a storm coming to ruin their Saturday picnic.

"Only time will tell," he said.

* * *

><p>As the moon rose again, Link and Mallara were eagerly beginning some much needed alone time. They sat on Mallara's bed, their lips hotly locked. Link's tunic was already on the floor and he was only wearing pants. She graced her hands over his well-toned torso, and pulled away from his mouth.<p>

"I am so glad Pipit has to work late tonight," Mallara sighed as she gazed into Link's eyes.

The room was very still, and the sound bounced off of the walls when they kissed again. As his tongue darted between her soft lips, he pulled down her shirt and unclasped her bra. She collapsed on the bed with him on top of her. Leaving her mouth, he consumed her breasts greedily. Mallara closed her eyes and sighed in ecstasy. Her foot slid between his legs and played with the lump in his breeches. He grunted hotly and completely lost control. Link pulled down his pants and pushed up her skirt to find she wasn't wearing anything else underneath.

She bit his neck to further entice him as she wrapped her legs around his waist and took him inside of her. He sighed and kissed her before continuing the act. The bed creaked rhythmically with their breathing. Link bit down on his lip as Mallora rubbed his nipples. He entered her more deeply, and her eyes widened at the pleasant sensation. Her nails ran down his back leaving a trail of white markings on his strong back. His hips moved more rapidly until they both had their release in the now incredibly stuffy room. They stayed there still connected, completely breathless.

Mallara stroked his sweat-soaked blonde locks, "you are amazing."

He couldn't answer before there was a knock on the door.

"MOM!"

Link and Mallora jumped up in horror.

"I am not going under the bed again!" said Link as he frantically pulled up his pants.

Mallora put her shirt back on, thinking quickly. She opened her closet and threw most of the clothes in it in a pile by her bed. As Pipit banged impatiently at the door, she handed Link his discarded clothes and her bra and pushed him into the closet. She closed the doors in front of his nervous face.

"Open up, Mom!" Pipit ordered.

Mallara quickly opened a window in an attempt to air out the room and then unlocked the front door. Pipit walked in with a strained expression.

"What's the matter, dear?" she asked. "I must have fallen asleep."

Pipit stepped forward with heavy footsteps. He stared at the heap of clothes in the corner.

"You really need to do laundry. It stinks in here."

"Of course, darling," she nodded, "so what can I do for you?"

"I just needed to get something before work," Pipit walked to his desk and picked up a jar.

Mallara recognized the jar and bit down on her lip anxiously. Pipit looked inside, and his eyes widened in shock as he dumped 5 rupees from the jar and turned to his mother in rage.

The blood was rising in his face, "what did you do with my money? This was my life savings."

She shook her head in denial, "I never touch your things, Pipit."

He snapped.

"LIKE HELL!" he shouted and tossed the jar across the room.

Mallara flinched as it barely missed her and crashed against the door.

"Maybe you spent it when you were drunk?" she suggested, her legs shaking.

"I DID NOT!" Pipit kicked his desk chair, breaking it in half.

Mallara stepped backwards fearfully, "maybe I borrowed something out of there once in a while, but I promise to give it back."

"There was 5,000 rupees in there," he picked up another jar and smashed it on the floor. "FIVE THOUSAND!"

"Please calm down," she sat down and looked at him fearfully.

Pipit inhaled heavily and sat across from her, his eyes twitching.

"What did you use 5,000 rupees for?"

"Well, I really need help around the house and . . ."

"DON'T LIE TO ME!"

She glanced away guiltily.

"You didn't just blow 5,000 rupees on cleaning expenses!" He slammed his fist on the table.

"Alright," she held her hand up, "I have a lover who I help out financially."

Pipit was so shocked he couldn't speak for a moment, but his face was still red with rage.

"Who?" Pipit asked shaking with anger.

"I have a right to have a man in my life," she ignored the question. "It has been 10 years since your father passed away. I am only a human being, and I have needs."

Pipit cringed at the last three words.

"It is actually none of your business," she shrugged, "I never give you a hard time whenever I happen to walk in on you with your pants down on top of your latest girl . . . or boy."

Link gasped loudly in the closet and quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

Mallara panicked for a moment, but Pipit did not notice the sound, because he was too upset.

"That . . . is . . . different," Pipit's fists were clenched. "I don't give anyone money that doesn't belong to me. I barely have enough to get by!"

"Maybe you can ask some of your lovers for help," she said unkindly. "I know some of them make a lot of money, like what's-his-face who you lost your virginity to."

"SHUT UP!" he pushed a glass vase to the floor, smashing it into pieces. A lone rupee bounced out, unclaimed.

"You really need to learn to control your temper," she said with disapproval.

"And you really need to learn to be less naive," Pipit countered. "This man is probably using you for money."

"That is not true," she smiled. "He is quite the gentleman. He is an adventurer who goes on many missions. He needs a lot of equipment. I only help him from time-to-time. You are exaggerating. Calm down."

"Well excuse me for being upset, because you take care of your boyfriend while I have to struggle," Pipit scowled.

"Pipit," Mallara's tone softened.

"ENOUGH!" Tears were starting to form in his eyes. "I have to go to work now to support your manwhore!"

Mallara stood up angrily at the insult, "just because you are one doesn't mean that every man in this town is!"

Pipit stomped out of the house, and when Mallara was sure he was gone she let Link back out of the closet.

"Mallara," he put his hand on her shoulder, sympathetically.

She fell into his arms sobbing. He held her for a while until she fell asleep, and then he swept the glass shards from the floor.

* * *

><p>Pipit was walking towards the school infuriated. Hot tears poured down his face. His mother had a boyfriend, and he was taking all of his hard earned money. Pipit vowed to find out who he was and get every rupee back. He would not let this ruin his wedding.<p>

As he was passing the stairs leading up to the Goddess Temple, he heard a loud sound. He quickly followed it in case it was someone in trouble.

"Oh-" grunted a man.

"I love you! Ah-" a female voice

Pipit didn't release he was crashing someone's midnight fuck until it was too late. Zelda was riding some guy's cock on the lawn by the temple. The long grass obstructed the view of her partner. Pipit assumed it was Link. He saw plenty of Zelda. She was completely naked with only her blonde locks covering her back. Her small, pointy breasts bounced up every time she slid down the very large dick. She was so into it she didn't even see Pipit standing there. He quickly walked away, embarrassed by the tightening in his own pants.

He walked to the school gate to start his watch. He tried to get the image of Zelda's flopping breasts out of his mind. Thinking about sex just made him want to throw himself at Reynaldo, and he usually camped out on one of the smaller islands so he could be one of the first in the sky in the morning. Pipit looked up at the stars and imagined what it would be like to be able to lay down next to Reynaldo right now. Just thinking about being wrapped in his strong, warm arms made him feel weak in the knees and quite excited.

"Well . . . well," Karane's voice shattered Pipit's daydream.

"You should be inside the school right now," Pipit said, disapprovingly.

"You should be inside ME right now," she said.

Karane was strolling towards him in her nightgown- an extremely see-through nightgown. The sheer fabric was very short and left nothing left to the imagination. Pipit took one look at the X-rated outfit and turned away.

"It's not very attractive when women try too hard," Pipit said, fixing his gaze on the moon.

"But I would say it worked," she prodded the bulge in his pants.

He flinched away from the unwanted touch, "that was definitely nothing to do with you."

"Yeah right," she attempted to push him against the gate.

He moved past her, "I am on duty now. Go to bed."

"What is wrong with you?" she demanded.

"Nothing," he said and stepped forward to begin his rounds.

Not giving up, she bent over in his path and spread the petals of her flower with her hands, "just fuck me."

"Have you lost your mind?" he asked, incredulously. "There is a time and place for certain things, and it's not here, not now, and certainly now with you!"

"How dare you ignore me!" her eyes flashed.

She squeezed his dick, and he lifted his hand to slap her, but then thought better of it.

"What's going on down there?" Professor Horwell looked down from the roof, "do we have to sing the inappropriate touching song?"

"Not you again," said Karane, exasperated.

"Go inside, Karane," Pipit ordered.

She accepted defeat. Before turning to renter the school she glared at him with eyes full of poison.

"You will be sorry for this, Pipit!"

* * *

><p>Near dawn, Pipit wearily entered the school. He went to Link's room and knocked on the door.<p>

"He's probably still with Zelda," he said to himself.

Pipit opened the unlocked door and entered the empty bedroom. He sat down at Link's desk and took out a piece of paper and a pen. He rubbed his weary eyes and wrote:

Dear Batreaux,

I changed my mind. I will take the job. Men or women. I will do ANYTHING as long as I make 1,000 rupees by the end of this month. I want to start immediately. I will stop by Wednesday afternoon.

Sincerely,

Pipit

* * *

><p>Author's Note:<p>

Well, things are starting to get interesting. It's been a while since I've updated. I will try to upload chapter 3 when I have a chance. Thanks for reading!


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